How to recognize narcissistic gaslighting Over time, this can make you question what if anything they are saying is true. Blatant liesĪn abuser may just flat out lie to your face without showing any signs they are doing it. Trivializing involves making your feelings or opinions seem unimportant or irrelevant.Įxample: “It was just a joke, don’t be so sensitive.” OR “Really? You’re getting this angry over nothing!” 7. You look like trash when you put on that much.” 6. The abuser may make you look forward to times when they will be affirming while treating you poorly most of the time.Įxample: “You’re really beautiful!” “You wear way too much makeup. Intermittent reinforcement describes a cycle of providing affirmation to you at one time and then making you feel small or bad about yourself another time. Forgetting or denialĪnother common gaslighting technique is to “forget” what happened or denying things, such as promises they made or having said something.Įxample: “I don’t remember any of this.” OR “You’re just making things up to make me sound bad again.” 5. Blocking or divertingīlocking or diverting occurs when the abuser either questions your thoughts or changes the subject to avoid talking about a subject any more.Įxample: “That doesn’t sound like something might happen, are you sure you didn’t just imagine the whole thing?” OR “It’s awfully late, let’s not talk about this right now.” 4. Withholding is a technique where your abuser doesn’t listen to you or pretends not to understand what you’re saying.Įxample: “I don’t want to talk about this again with you.” 3. CounteringĬountering occurs when the abuser questions your memories even when you’re sure you remember it correctly.Įxample: “Your memory is always terrible, I never said that to you.” 2. Some common types include the following: 1. Gaslighting a domestic partner may fulfill needs such as:
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